The List
by mizuki.monique
Summary: "Bella did not want to die. Desperately did not want to. But the will to live wasn't for her own sake; it was for Renesmee, her severely autistic daughter. As if her life wasn't complicated enough, a mysterious man that Bella can't help but love and strange prophecies are thrown into the mix.
1. The News

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, well I own copies of the books but I don't...oh you get it. Enjoy :)**

Bella waited patiently and tried not to concentrate on the sterile smell of the doctor's office. Bella's doctor, and good friend, Angela, entered the room, and Bella could tell that she was working hard to keep a blank expression. Bella crossed her legs and felt the paper lining on the patient couch crinkle underneath her. Angela smiled thinly at Bella and handed her the prescription forms. Bella noticed how Angela avoided speaking.

Bella flipped through them, reading the prices of her multiple medications, each one more expensive and harder to pronounce than the next. Bella couldn't afford these medicines. Not on a kindergarden teacher's salary. As if reading her mind, Angela opened her mouth to speak.

"Don't worry about the cost. It's on me," Angela said reassuringly. Something about her tone and sudden sympathy made Bella reevaluate the forms. Angela was kind, but she wouldn't offer to pay this much if it were nothing. On the bottom of each paper was a small description of each medication. It confirmed Bella's suspicions. Not a single one of the medications were treatments. They were all pain killers.

"I'm dying, aren't I?" Bella said quietly, before she lost her nerve. Angela, for a second, looked like she was going to burst into tears. "I didn't know how to tell you! Maybe if we caught it sooner, I could've, I would've. You're my friend and I didn't want to have to tell you, well I did, it's better coming from, but I just…," Angela trailed off and remembered that she was a professional, and regained her composure. She cleared her throat and stood up a little straighter.

"The medications are to…make the dying process easier...less painful," She said slowly and deliberately, as if saying the words, but trying not to think about the meaning too much. Angela gauged Bella for a reaction. Angela eyes briefly flickered to the shock blanket in the cabinet, in case Bella needed it.

Bella stared at a white spot on the wall, and concentrated on holding herself together. Bella decided wasn't allowed to fall apart here. There was more she needed to know. She swallowed her shock and asked the next question.

"How long?" Bella asked. Angela stared at Bella for a moment before understanding.

"Three to four months," Angela whispered. Bella nodded. She did not think about how short a time that was, because she was still not allowed to fall apart. Then Angela went into a spiel about how nothing is ever certain and how she could create a diet/exercise plan that would buy Bella more time, but Bella had already stopped listening. Bella thanked Angela midsentence. Angela gave Bella the prescriptions, and a couple brochures. Bella glanced at one. _How to Tell Your Family... _Bella stopped reading abruptly and walked back into the waiting room, where 15-year-old Renesmee sat, waiting.

Renesmee had a small stuffed puppy in her lap. She absentmindedly tugged on its ears with a glazed over look in her eyes.

"Renesmee?" Bella said sweetly. Renesmee blinked, but did not respond. "Sweetheart, we're going- look at me, Renesmee," Bella gently cupped her chin and turned her face so she faced her. "We're going home now," Renesmee understood. She stood up and held her mother's hand. Bella lead her outside into the parking lot, and they drove home. On the drive home, Bella did a lot of thinking. She had decided she still wasn't allowed to break down yet. First of all, she was driving. Second of all, Bella didn't want to upset Renesmee.

Bella did not want to die. Desperately did not want to. But the will to live wasn't for her own sake; it was for Renesmee, her severely autistic daughter that couldn't even get dressed by herself. Without Bella, there was no one to take care of her. She briefly considered Charlie or Renee, who would both take her in a second. Then she decided against it. As much as Bella loved Renesmee, she knew Renesmee was a burden, and she could never do that to Charlie or Renee. They were both almost sixty years old and taking care of Renesmee was a huge responsibility and takes a lot of sacrifice. Charlie and Renee had their own lives to live. Bella would have to make arrangements some other way.

They arrived at the apartment door. As Bella fumbled through her purse for the key, she realized something. Bella decided she wanted to try something. She finally found the key and placed it into Renesmee's hand.

"Renesmee, I want you to unlock the door this time," Bella said firmly.

"Unlock the door," Renesmee said.

"Yes," Bella said, nodding.

"Unlock it," Renesmee repeated. Renesmee took the key, and placed it in the lock.

"Good! You're a smart girl!" Bella smiled at her beautiful daughter. "Now turn it- the other way, you did it!" The door was unlocked. Renesmee opened in and they went inside. Bella began to make dinner when the phone rang.

"Bella!"

"Mom," Bella smiled a little.

"How are you? How's Renesmee? You never call me anymore, you know?"

"I know… I'm sorry things have been crazy,"

"I suppose," Renee replied. She didn't like excuses. "How's your liver?"

"Fine," Bella hoped her mother didn't notice her voice breaking as she lied.

"This stupid phone. So much static," Her mother replied. "Remember, no alcohol," Alcohol had been cut out of Bella's diet years ago, not that she ever drank much besides a sip or two of wine at weddings. The absence of alcohol in Bella's life didn't stop her liver from deteriorating.

"Mom…I love you," Bella said.

"Alright, alright, I know you say that when you want to stop talking. But come over some time. I want to see you, and of course my beautiful grandchild. I love you too, Bella,"

"Goodnight,"

"Goodnight,"

Bella hung up. After their dinner of Chinese dumplings, Bella undressed Renesmee and tucked her into bed. Bella stayed by her bedside until she could see that Renesmee was fully asleep. Bella stared at Renesmee's sweet sleeping form. Renesmee was snoring softly. It was almost musical. She was curled up into fetal position and her curls were spread out on the pillow, like a golden brown halo.

That's when Bella decided what she had to do. She left the bedroom and entered the living room. She quickly grabbed a notebook and pen off her coffee table to sketch out her thoughts. How should she organize this? She wondered at she tapped the pen on her temple. Graphic organizer? Venn diagram? Thought bubble? List? Yes, list. Perfect. She collapsed on to the couch and began.

Before she died, Bella figured she would have to do three things.

_Number one._ Bella wrote in her messy scrawl. _Bella would find a place for Renesmee to stay._

_Number two ._Bella continued. _She would find Renesmee a job. _Something simple, like cleaning. Bella knew she didn't want her daughter to be idle. If she wanted to make sure her daughter would be okay, she would have to find Renesmee a job.

Bella paused for a second, thinking of the third thing when a pain erupted in her abdomen. She clutched at it, that damn liver. Bella was afraid of a lot of things. Disease was never on that list. Bella was clumsy and attracted trouble. She knew many things could kill her. Murderers, bears, snakes, and heights to list a few examples. However she never fathomed dying at the hands of a villain inside her. Bella shook those thoughts out of her head. She still was not allowed to fall apart yet; she had to finish the list. Bella waited a few moments for the pain to subside. Then she picked up her pen again to finish the list.

_Number three,_ _Bella would teach Renesmee basic life skills, like unlocking a door by herself. _Only after Bella was sure Renesmee would be happy and would be taken care of after she died, only then would Bella be able to go in peace. Bella looked across to the kitchen where the oven clock was. The clock wasn't an analog clock, but Bella felt like she could hear the clock ticking. Bella walked towards it, with the intent of turning it off. On the way to the oven, however, was her refrigerator. The Hello Kitty calendar was on the refrigerator, held by a small circular magnet.

Bella walked up to the calendar and smiled at it like an old friend. "We have more in common than you think, you know," She said it to her calendar like a secret. "Both our days are numbered,"

She had less than four months.

She had finished her list.

Now Bella was allowed to fall apart.

**What do you think so far? Please review! I love hearing what you have to say.**

**-Love,**

**Monique**


	2. The Best Friend

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga. I haven't written in a while, and wow it feels good to write again! Enjoy!**

Michelle at the front desk greeted Bella and Renesmee as the two walked into Timber Lakes Elementary School the following Monday, where Bella worked as a kindergarten teacher. Bella signed Renesmee in on the volunteer list. Renesmee was allowed to stay with Bella in Bella's kindergarten class as long as Renesmee was there as a volunteer.

She was a very good volunteer. Every day, like clockwork she helped Bella set up. She'd pull out all the toys, and often she would play with them until the students arrived. The first day Bella brought Renesmee, Bella was afraid that the kids would laugh or ask too many questions. But the children loved her. Although she almost never spoke, she was a very good listener. During playtime, she would often hold a child in her lap while the child chattered senselessly about nothing and played with Renesmee's beautiful ringlet curls.

That particular day's lesson was about identifying coins. Like being able to distinguish between pennies, dimes, etc. After the lesson during playtime, Bella sat Renesmee down and asked if she understood. The young woman looked down onto the small toy wheels in her lap. The wheels used to be connected to the car, but Renesmee plucked them off- she was more drawn to specific pieces of an object rather than the whole object itself. Renesmee didn't respond. Bella nodded and made a mental note to teach Renesmee how to count money as well.

Then the bell rang for lunch. The class assembled in a line, with Renesmee always in the back. Bella suspected it was because Renesmee wanted to watch over the little kindergarteners. Bella knew this because if a kid tripped or fell down, Renesmee immediately rushed to their aid. Bella lead all the students and Renesmee into the main cafeteria. She handed Renesmee her lunchbox and Renesmee slid into a lunch table next to her five-year-old friend, Sadie. Once Bella saw Renesmee was settled, she left to go to the staff room.

Bella pulled out a plastic blue chair and pulled it over the circular table her friends sat at. She sat next to Jasper. Jasper, Bella's best friend, was a custodian, but Bella never could understand why. There was nothing wrong with being a custodian, of course, but Jasper had a master's in history- he could curate a museum or be a history professor in an institute. Don't even try to ask him about the civil war, he would not be able to stop talking. She knew he majored in history because one day they were talking about their past and it came up that Jasper had when to college.

"What did you major in?" Bella had asked.

"History," He smiled slowly. "-and a minor in English, just to make sure I was extra unemployable," He had said.

Bella rolled her eyes at the memory and was about to pick up her BLT when she felt an intense pain explode in her abdomen again. She fell out of her chair, and when she tried to get up, she doubled over, gasping. When she could finally stand again (with Jasper's help), she noticed the people in the room staring at her in alarm. Bella's face burned, and she mumbled some lame excuse before she ran out of the room.

It wasn't until she reached the end of the hall that she realized Jasper had followed her. She leaned against the wall and slid down until she was in a seated position. Bella held her head in her hands.

"What the hell was that?" Jasper demanded, angry as well as concerned. He knew Bella was keeping something from him. Bella looked up, and guessed that she appeared as tortured as she felt because Jasper immediately grabbed Bella by the wrist and pulled her up to standing position. It didn't hurt, but it wasn't exactly gentle. Not breaking stride, he led her into an empty classroom, flicking on the light and shutting the door behind them. Jasper crossed his arms and stared at Bella expectantly.

Shocked at his abruptness, she just stared at him. He didn't say anything, but just waited, as if to say _You know you have to tell me. _Bella broke down, telling her best friend everything. From the Angela's diagnosis to the bucket list she made and how awful she felt because so far she hadn't even scratched the surface of that list.

Jasper listened pensively, brow furrowed. His gaze hardened when Bella told him she had three months left. However, he didn't cry or freak out like Angela did. He didn't even ask how Bella was, he knew that Bella cared more for Renesmee's well-being anyway.

"Have you found her a place to say?" He asked.

Bella shook her head, furious with her own incompetence. Bella explained how almost all the institutions she's visited had rejected her.

"Renesmee is too old for the institutions for children and too young for the ones for the elderly. The few that would take her looked like in the insane asylums from the horror movies- I could never leave her in a place like that," Bella sighed. Jasper nodded slowly.

"I think I know someone who can help you," He said. "My brother in law- Edward- is the president of the Volturi Autistic Institute for Adults. I've been there- it's a nice place. Kinda far though," Jasper looked up, making an estimate in his head. "Maybe, like, an hour away?"

Bella could've cried; it was so perfect. An hour's drive away was nothing if it meant it was the right place for Renesmee.

"Thank you, Jasper," Bella whispered. "For helping me and, and not-"

"And not treating you like a dead man walking?" Jasper interrupted, smirking. "I hate pity, it's useless- so I'll show none to you," Bella laughed, that was the nicest thing she'd heard all day.

"Sometimes, I don't know if you're this completely emotionless robot, or if you're the most empathetic person I know," Bella mused out loud. He was so brutally honest, but at the same time, he always knew the right thing to say. Jasper chuckled and walked across the classroom to the teacher's desk. He grabbed a sheet of notebook paper and pencil from the small black cup on the corner of the desk. He started writing things down.

"Have you been taking your pain medications?" Jasper asked.

"One of the side effects is that they'll make me drowsy. I don't have time to be tired, I need to keep my energy up," Bella explained, glad that she knew Jasper would understand.

"Bullshit," Jasper said. Bella's eyebrows shot up. That did _not _sound like understanding to her.

"What?" She squeaked.

"I'd take a little drowsiness over having random pain explosions in my liver," Jasper said. Bella cringed at the memory. "I know you want to take care of everyone else, but promise me you'll take your medicine. You need to take care of yourself too," Jasper said, seriously.

"Okay," Bella lied smoothly. Jasper raised an eyebrow.

"I mean it," He said. Okay, so Bella's lie wasn't so smooth. "I know when you're lying. Promise me you'll take your medicine. I found Renesmee a place to stay. You owe me."

"Fine," Bella gave in, because she knew Jasper was right. She did owe Jasper. She owed him everything now. Jasper dropped the pencil back into the cup, he finished writing. He folded the paper in half.

He handed the folded piece of paper to Bella.

On it, in Jasper's classic handwriting was the name of the institute, the address, the name Edward Cullen, and a phone number.

"Thank you," Bella whispered again.

Lunch hadn't ended yet, but she didn't want to meet all the staring eye's again so she went back to her classroom instead. She booted up her laptop at her desk, and googled the institute's office hours. The office was closed today- she would have to visit tomorrow. That was fine, Bella thought. She had some errands to run anyway.

After school, Bella and Renesmee drove to Walmart. Arriving at Walmart, Bella made a copy of her house key and went into the craft section to buy some ribbon. She picked up a roll and showed Renesmee the sticker price on it.

"Two dollars," Bella pointed out. She reached into her purse and took pulled a few bills from her wallet. A one-dollar, five-dollar, and fifty-dollar bill.

"Which one should I use to pay for this?" Bella asked. Renesmee bit her thumb and pointed to the fifty dollar bill.

"That would work, I suppose- but it would be better to use this one," Bella showed the five-dollar bill. "It's closer to two dollars, but it's still enough to pay for it," Renesmee narrowed her eyes at the five-dollar bill, and nodded. Renesmee was generally best at math than anything else. Bella let her pay for the ribbon and they went home.

When they arrived home, she let Renesmee open the door again, and this time she was able to do it without further prodding from Bella. Bella took out the ribbon, took some scissors, measured the appropriate length, and cut the ribbon. She laced the ribbon through the house key and tied both ends of the ribbon together, forming a necklace. She placed it over Renesmee's head. The key looked like a little pendant on the ribbon necklace.

"From now on, you open the house, okay?" Bella said.

"Okay," Renesmee said.

"Where's the key?" Bella asked. Renesmee tugged on the ribbon.

"That's my girl,"

Bella pulled out her cellphone and called the number on the paper Jasper gave her. She wanted to ask a couple questions before she visited tomorrow. It ringed a couple times before someone picked up.

"Hello, this is Edward," The voice answered. It sounded like honey. Bella was surprised, she assumed the number Jasper had given her was an office number, not the Edward's personal phone number.

"Is anyone there?" Edward asked.

"Hi, my name is Bella. I'm a friend of J-,"

"Jasper!" Edward exclaimed. "He called earlier telling me about you. You can come over tomorrow and I'll show you around. Just tell Kathy at the front desk your name and she'll call me down. Bring Renesmee,"

"Thank you," Bella sighed, feeling even more grateful to her best friend. "I will," She said, feeling as if a huge load was being lifted off her shoulders.

**I hate to sound like every other writer on this site, but please review! The more I get, the more encouraged I'll be to write the next chapter sooner! Thanks and I hoped you enjoyed it :)**


	3. The Love of His Life

It was raining the next day. Big, fat, droplets of water fell heavily onto the car as Bella drove to the elementary school. At a stop light, Bella absentmindedly watched at one particularly large droplet on the window ate all the surrounding water droplets as it barreled its way down the window pane. Renesmee was watching the droplets on her window too- she was counting them.

They finally pulled up to the school. Renesmee jumped out, enjoying the sound of slosh against her bright yellow rainboots. Bella held her hand and they entered the school. Bella came through the front office to sign Renesmee in like usual, when the woman at the front desk, Michelle stared at her, puzzled.

"Is something wrong?" Bella asked. Michelle pushed up her glasses and reviewed something on her computer.

"You sent an email this morning saying that you couldn't come in today. Stomach bug?" Michelle said, as if reminding a senior citizen.

"Wha-" Bella started to say.

"Bella!" Jasper called, appearing out of nowhere and heading toward her. "We all know that you weren't feeling very well yesterday. The flu has been going around lately. You need to go home and rest," Jasper grabbed Bella's elbow and corralled her outside where the rain was slowly starting to subside, leaving Renesmee in the front office so Renesmee wouldn't hear the argument that would most likely ensue. Bella flushed angrily and jerked her elbow away from his surprisingly strong grip.

"Why would-"

"Time is precious!" Jasper threw his hands up in the air. "And you're wasting it," Jasper said simply.

"My job is not optional!" Bella snapped. How dare him! How dare he accuse her of wasting time. She worked for the reason most people worked- for money. She still had mouths to feed and extensive medical bills to pay.

"You can't just go back to work two days after being diagnosed with a terminal dis-. Oh don't make that face. You're dying, I know it's hard to accept, but if I can do it- then you sure as hell can." Jasper's voice sounded strained. "You haven't even told your Charlie or Renee yet, have you?"

Bella avoided his gaze.

"You haven't. I knew it." Jasper said. Bella fumed.

"You have no idea. What I'm going through," Bella said passive aggressively through her teeth. Who the hell was he to be so nosy?

"You can't just do this again, Alice!" Jasper yelled.

Bella flinched. Jasper never yelled. Bella had never seen him show so much emotion and anger and sadness and did he just say-? Jasper looked just as shocked and confused at his outburst as she felt.

"Alice?" Bella asked, tentatively. He met her gaze and she was startled by how fast he regained his composure. His face was impassive, and revealed nothing.

"My wife," Jasper said. He didn't need to add the fact that Alice was dead, probably from some terminal disease not unlike Bella's. Bella felt stupid and selfish. Of course he had a wife. When Jasper mentioned how his brother-in-law could help her, Bella had assumed that his sister had married Edward. Bella completely forgot the fact that Jasper was a single child. Edward was Jasper's brother-in-law because Alice was Edward's sister.

"Jasper I-," Bella started to say, and then stopped- afraid she might babble like an idiot again. What was she supposed to say?

"I'm sorry," Jasper said.

"What?" Bella wasn't sure she heard correctly.

"I'm sorry," Jasper said, without any ironic or sarcastic undertone. "You're right, I don't know what you're going through," Bella nodded in agreement.

"But," Jasper continued. "I remember what I went through when Alice was suddenly gone from my life and I had no warning because she pretended like everything was okay," Chills ran down the length of Bella's spine.

"And I know how Renee and Charlie will feel if you do the same to them," Jasper turned and walked back to the school, afraid that if he stayed- Bella would want to know more about Alice. And Jasper didn't want to talk about the forever-gone love of his life. He had worked too hard to repress those memories. Not the good ones. He made sure never to forget her smiling face, her confidence, her spiky black hair.

He knew the memories he wanted to forget, that seemed to be forever engraved into his mind. The letter that she wrote for him. The one that the doctor gave him after he arrived at the hospital two minutes too late. The closed-casket ceremony, because once upon a time they talked about what would happen if the other died.

"Don't let anyone see me dead, love," She had said, pushing a lock of his hair behind his ear. His skin burned where she touched him. He must have loved her so much. "I don't want their last memory of me to be of a corpse," She added cheerfully.

"You're much too alive to worry about that," Jasper teased. She was the most alive, animated person he ever met. Every move she made was dancer-like, artistic. To this, she shrugged. He should have known.

Everyone wore white at her ceremony, in her honor. Jasper never asked anyone to do that- either they planned it collectively, or just…knew. Alice had always said that she wanted her life to be celebrated instead of her death mourned.

Not to mention, Alice's special…precognition. She saw things she shouldn't have, and eventually- her brain couldn't take it anymore. The doctor had said the chronic hallucinations were causing her brain to deteriorate but Alice insisted that they weren't hallucinations- they were important visions. These wild fits would take over her and Jasper would be horrified. Horrified at what was eating at Alice. But the fits were over as soon as they started with Alice hardly having memory of them.

Jasper thought the letter the doctor gave him would talk about how much she loved him or some other sort of last words people would usually say, and it did- but on the back side of the letter. Random phrases on the back. Predictions. They were vague and prophecy-like, and the handwriting wasn't even the same as her usual elegant penmanship. Alice's handwriting was sweet and loopy. The predictions she wrote on the back were written in a hurried scrawl, as if she were wasting the few precious moments of her life entertaining her hallucinations. He had kept the letter in his wallet, but rarely looked at the back because Jasper hated the hallucinations, or predictions, as Alice called it. Whatever they were they destroyed her.

They destroyed the love of his life.

**Hey- quick clarification. This story is still all-human. If I remember correctly, in Twilight, Alice was able to see the future before she became a vampire. And I know Jasper is good picking up at emotions and is "surprisingly strong" again, I'm pretty sure he was like that before he turned. Anyway, I hoped you like it! Oh and what do you guys think are Alice's predictions?**


	4. The Brown Eyes

**What if I said I did own Twilight? Obviously no one would believe me. And they'd be right, because I don't. Enjoy!**

* * *

Edward honked his horn at the unmoving car in front of him, and shook his head in distaste when the driver of said car gave him the bird. He was going to be late, not that he was really going to be punished for it, but he found it in bad taste. Not to mention Aro would have his ass he found out. In fact, a lot of things were bothering him today. Mostly stupid, little things that shouldn't have. Edward didn't really know why he was in a bad mood. Perhaps it was the weather. The clouds blanketed the cement-gray sky, and the air was uncomfortably moist. He pulled his Volvo into the sharp turn into the parking lot of the institute. He parked generally close to the building, and sat for a moment, resting his head on the leather headrest. He heard pattering on the roof of his car and when he opened his eyes, he realized it began to rain. Hard. And standing in the rain, in front of the building, was the most peculiar thing. A woman with long brown hair standing in front of the building. She seemed to pay no attention to the rain soaking her blue sweater and dampening her hair. She bit the inside of her thumb, as if deciding whether or not she should go in. She closed her eyes, and seemed to relax- the same thing Edward did when he was thinking or when bothered by something. She tilted her face toward the rain, and turned- and Edward could see her completely now! In clear view of her features, Edward sat transfixed. He didn't understand his emotions right now. All he knew was that he was amazed by the woman he saw. It wasn't like love at first sight. She wasn't extremely attractive. It wasn't that she was plain-looking, it was simply the fact that none of her features weren't all that remarkable. And yet, Edward felt like he was meant to meet her. Like this was an act of fate. Edward scoffed, now he sounded like Alice.

_Alice._ A pang reverberated in his heart. Edward didn't know why sometimes he forgot Alice was dead, but he thought that it was cruel. It was cruel that his mind worked in such a way. He talked to a therapist, once, because he felt he should. He was told he was stuck in the first stage of grief, denial. This never rang true to Edward. It wasn't that he didn't realize Alice died. In fact, he was one of the first people who saw it coming. He nearly pulled the plug himself to stop her "visions". They terrified him in a way he didn't understand. Edward supposed that he had hoped that the crazy, satanic-sounding Alice had died and not the one he loved so dearly. Unfortunately, you couldn't have one without the other. He tried to so hard to forget the bad, and sometimes he nearly did. Edward thought that this was the reason he often forgot her death. He unintentionally tried to.

Edward was pulled out of his reverie by a stifled squeal. He squinted through the rain. The entrancing woman was doubled over, her wet hair falling in unpleasant strands all around her face. Edward's first instinct was to be afraid. This woman's current posture reminded him all too much about how Alice looked whenever she had one of her fits. Fear turned into fury. Edward was angry at himself for still being so weak. For not immediately reacting in the way that any sane person would. He jumped out of his Volvo and rushed to the woman's aid. He held the crook of her elbow and helped her up. "Are you okay?" He asked. She was surprisingly warm, he noticed, despite the cold weather. "I'm fine," She sounded more embarassed than hurt. This was good. She looked up and her….her….eyes…

* * *

"Stunning brown eyes!" Alice whispered quietly. She clutched her sweat-soaken hospital bed sheets with a death grip. Edward took a step back. Shame washed over him. No man should ever have to feel fear of his little sister.

"W-what?" Edward stuttered. Her eyes trailed from the sheets to Edward's face, but she wasn't seeing him. Edward saw no recognition in her pixie-like features. This wasn't Alice. That much was true.

"Unbelievable brown eyes," Alice twitched. Her pretty green eyes shined in a different way now. "Beautiful brown eyes. Wonderful brown eyes. Enchanting brown eyes," She even started singing Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison. It would've been almost comical if it wasn't so eerie. She dry heaved and collapsed onto the bed. An hour later she woke up with no memory of the episode.

* * *

These were the brown eyes. These were undoubtedly the brown eyes. Edward wanted to punch himself for his foolishness. Alice's episodes didn't mean anything, they never did. He knew this, but randomly since Alice's death, he would be pulled into horrible, horrible flashbacks. As if he needed reminding of the worst months of his life. Edward realized he was still gripping the young woman's arm, even though she was already standing fine. He released her quickly. He couldn't stop looking at those brown eyes. Knowing that Alice's visions didn't mean anything. But...what if? The woman looked uncomfortable being the object of Edward's intense stare. Edward averted his glance. She cleared her throat and crossed her arms.

"I'm fine. I just have a bad cough," She mumbled lamely. She then proceeded to add a fake cough for effect. Edward gave her a peculiar glance. "Do you know when they open?" She asked nodding toward the institution. She flushed. "I suppose I'm here a bit early,"

"They're open," Edward said and walked over to the front door. He pushed open and held it open for her. She wordlessly nodded her thanks. Kathy at the front desk looked up and smiled in greeting.

"Good morning, Mr. Cullen," She said. The drenched woman standing next to him started.

"Oh," She stuttered. "You're Ed- We talked on the ph- I'm Bella," She thrust her hand out.

"Nice to meet you, Bella," Edward said politely, hiding the rollercoaster of emotions going on in the inside. _She's Bella? Jesus Christ, Jasper- couldn't you have warned me that she was so…she's just so…._Edward shook his head, knowing that Jasper couldn't possibly have known the effect Bella would have on him. "Let's start the tour, shall we?"

Although Edward never admitted it, he used to dislike the people who visited the institution. They were often family members tired of taking care of their autistic loved ones. He found it lazy and selfish to dump them somewhere so you never had to deal with their issues again. Then Alice started having her fits. And Edward knew what it was like to not want to be near someone you loved. That didn't make him dislike the visitors any less, of course; it just made Edward dislike himself more. This was why Edward was first inclined to dislike Bella when Jasper mentioned her on the phone. She was presumably healthy, young, and with a stable job. Perfectly capable. Then Edward remembered her "coughing fit" and wondered if this story went any deeper. If Bella wasn't capable. He didn't pry. He never pried. As a general rule, despite his charming demeaner, Edward disliked the people who visited. For some reason, he knew Bella was an exception. He knew he wasn't going to dislike Bella. Pair this with Alice's vision, Edward wished he would. If simply looking at Bella was enough to make him experience_ that _again- she would be a very, very dangerous friend. But Edward was getting ahead of himself. No one said anything about friends. He is simply a professional showing someone a tour of an establishment.

Edward didn't know why he was so conscious of her as he led her on the tour he led a thousand times before. He led her into one of the wings that held housing and they ran into a few happy-looking guests of the institute. This seemed to put Bella at ease a bit. Edward introduced her to one of the institutes guest's Kyle. As they talked, Edward watched her out of the corner of his eye. She didn't talk down to Kyle. She spoke with a humble confidence, and her laugh was the contagious kind. She had a cute nervous habit of biting the inside of her thumb. After a few minutes they said goodbye to Kyle and continued with the tour.

Bella asked a lot of questions. She was very observant when he informed her of the facilities. It wasn't the mild interest Edward was used to. She cared. Very much. She was anxious, worried, and Edward didn't want her to be. He showed her the bedroom where Renesmee would sleep. It was reminiscent of a college dorm. One twin bed on one wall and a comfy-looking couch opposite the bed. A wardrobe in the corner. A desk pressed up against the wall next to the couch and a simple mirror hanging over the desk. A shower and sink were in the bathroom and Edward explained there were toilets in the community bathroom down the hall.

Once, when Bella paused after a question Edward blurted out "What's your favorite color?" for the sole reason of wanting to know. Edward immediately wished he could've taken it back. She must think him strange. Bella looked taken aback by the question. Their eyes met again and Edward swallowed. He briefly wondered how Bella's family and friends reacted when they looked her in the eyes. He wondered how they could ever get used to them. It wasn't just that they were physically beautiful. They were old and young at the same time. Knowing but filled with doubt, confusion. They held a depth that Edward take forever trying to understand. "Topaz," Bella said in the same blurted way Edward asked the question. She looked down and flushed deeply.

"Huh?" Edward asked. In his astonishment, he had forgotten his question. Why was she blushing? Did he say something to embarrass her?

"My favorite color," She tugged at a lock of her hair. "It's topaz,"

"Oh," Edward said. An uncomfortable moment passed and then…

"What will she eat while she's here? It's important Renesmee has a balanced diet," Bella explained. The tour proceeded into the café.

* * *

_It was perfect._ Bella thought. The Volturi Institute for Autistic Adults was perfect. Granted the rooms were on the small side, but they were warm, cozy, and perfect for Renesmee. Edward had shown her an activities calendar filled with events Bella knew Renesmee would love. The food was great. There were classes for life skills. It was perfect. But Edward. Oh my goodness, Edward. Bella had no idea what to think of him. Despite his initial charm, there's a strangeness to him. It was off-putting. He was also incredibly handsome, which from experience, Bella immediately didn't trust. Square jaw, full lips, straight nose, bronze colored hair. Topaz eyes. Bella flushed at the memory. _Why did she have to answer topaz? _Bella wondered, trying to rid herself of her most recent embarassing moment. Bella felt guilty for noticing how beautiful he was ,because she was at the institute to see if it was the right fit for Renesmee, not to stare at the institute's gorgeous president. Although, Bella thought. He did plenty of staring himself.

The way he looked at her made Bella uncomfortable. It wasn't the predatory, sexual staring that Renesmee's father did, but still. Bella thought Edward looked at her like he wanted to dissect her. Like she was a science experiment he had yet to figure out. She didn't like it. Not one bit. _However_, another side of Bella argued. _Jasper thinks highly of him, so that definitely means something_. Also, what choice did she have? As mentioned before, the institute is perfect. So she smiled at Edward and made plans with Edward to discuss , she had promised. She promised Edward she would be back tomorrow. With Renesmee. Well this should be interesting.

* * *

**So there you go! Comments, suggestions? Leave a review :) And thank you so much for reading **

**Love,**

**Monique**


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